But look, I did it! I stopped biting my nails and they already grew out perfectly!
....If anyone was fooled by that, well, you have way too much faith in me, and also no sense of how long it takes for nails to grow. I got gels put on for the wedding this weekend. So far I haven't ruined any of them, so hopefully my real nails are growing out underneath and when I take the gels off I'll have long, beautiful nails in real life. The key now is to not bite the cuticles. I'll keep you updated on my progress.