Personal Statement

Writing a personal statement for residency applications is not that fun, even for someone who loves to write as much as I do.  A friend of mine brought up an excellent point about it.  "For the love of God.  I want to be a [insert specialty here].  Why do I need to write an essay about it?  Doesn't my thousands of dollars of tuition loans speak for themselves?"

And seriously.  A one page essay talking about why we want to be a doctor?  We just finished medical school and we're now applying to residency... what else would we want to do?  Who is out there that doesn't believe us?  (And for those smarties out there going into pharmaceuticals or consulting or something, they wouldn't be writing this essay in the first place because they're not applying to residency!)  Am I wrong?



[Note: Residency directors, don't read this post!  But if you already did... I really really really want to be a doctor, pretty please with a cherry on top.]

Why It's Impossible to Memorize Anything Ever

So I'm studying the skin chapter in Step Up to Medicine, and I get to the disorder called lichen planus.  No big deal, the book tells me just to remember the 4 P's: pruritic, polygonal, purple, flat-topped papules.  I can forgive them for the last one (I can call it papule (comma) flat-topped, like a last name (comma) first name sort of thing). 

But now fast-forward two pages later (aka three facebook breaks and two youtube videos later), and I get to basal cell carcinoma.  OK, no biggy, the book says it's classic appearance can easily be remembered by the 3 P's: pearly, pink, papule.

. . . .

I'm sorry but that is too many P's in too short a time!  How am I supposed to remember which are the 4 P's and which are the 3 P's, and which one goes with which?  Where is the mnemonic for that??

Beer Potomania!

Guyssssss, who's coming to this awesome fun event with me?!??!?

Coming Summer 2013 to an open field outside of a city near you!  With music by all your favorite bands and food trucks from all your favorite restaurants!  Tickets priced only just outside of your comfort zone for how much you want to spend in one weekend!

Just kidding, it's a disease name (drinking all beer and eating no food means lots of free water intake but not enough solutes which causes hyponatremia).  But come on, doesn't it sound like a really fun outdoor beer-tasting festival?  And admit it, doesn't part of you sort of wish it was?

Oh you meant SURGERY?

Me: Have you ever had any surgeries?
Patient: Nope.
Me: Have you ever had any eye problems?
Patient: Yeah, I just had cataract surgery last week.
Me:

Scrubs

I was talking with some friends on internal medicine the other day and complaining (naturally, because what other type of conversation is there?) about the traffic that morning, and another friend on surgery was like, "Really? At 5 this morning, 280 was totally clear."  It got me thinking about the pros and cons about the different rotations. 

In terms of call schedule and hours, surgery is obviously the worst (helloooo 5 am).  But you got the best parking spots, it took you half the time to get to the hospital, and you got to wear scrubs every. single. day.  Ob/gyn was the second worst (helloooo night float), but you also got to wear scrubs every day - except for your week of outpatient clinic when your hours were 9-5 but you had to dress professionally.

Now for internal medicine, there are no overnights.  But you are on call every fourth day (weekends included) which more or less means you stay till 8pm and admit all the new patients for the day.  You are expected to dress professionally in the hospital, but on your call days you are allowed to wear scrubs. 


...Is anyone else sensing a pattern here?  Being allowed to wear scrubs is obviously a consolation prize for having a crappy day.  And it's totally effective!  "Sorry you have to be at the hospital for all of the daylight hours, but at least you get to wear pajamas!"  #Winning!

consolation prize

By the end of surgery, I was so excited to put on real clothes again - it was like a full two months of never wearing pants without a drawstring, and that can get depressing.  But now that I have to dress up almost every day, getting to wear scrubs and sneakers makes call days so so much more bearable.

More Technical Talk

A patient not too much older than me had been having erectile dysfunction, and his testosterone level was in the normal but low range, and he asked the doctor if he should be prescribed some testosterone. 

Doctor: Testosterone doesn't help with your erection but it does with the dirty talk, the dirty thoughts - if you know what I mean.
Patient: You mean sex drive?
Doctor: Sure, yeah, that.

The doctor was also trying to convince him to lose weight (more fat tissue --> more estrogen --> negative feedback on LH/FSH --> less testosterone) and told him if he lost 30 pounds he would become an unstoppable animal, and that girls would start calling him "The Animal."


...Meanwhile, I sat awkwardly in the corner typing the patient's vitals into the EMR.

Check!

Holy guacamole, I only have one clerkship left in third year.  Check to surgery, psychiatry, neurology, ob/gyn, pediatrics, and now check to family medicine.  And hellooooo to internal medicine.  Granted, it's the longest of the clerkships, clocking in at a solid 3 months.  But still!  The last one.  And then I'm a fourth year.  Which is basically vacation (I mean.... valuable time to learn all the things I feel like I missed out on the other years and brush up on before residency), and then I'm a doctor.